Open letter to President Obama

The Global Warming Plot 

(and I don't mean Al Gore's phase-shifted two-line graph).

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Dear Mister President Obama,

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using my dad's* crystal ball, I have uncovered the PLOT behind the Global Warming saga. It's not that we can't all unit behind the common good nor is it because Al Gore wants to make a profit off selling carbon credits nor is it because the Oil-Gas-Coal industry are trying to impose their way on all of us. No. The Global Warming saga is nothing but a PLOT orchestrated by the notorius criminal mind Lex Luther and his grumpy Anti-Santa - Anti-Easter Bunny Christian friends. 

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These bad people expect Global Warming to expel Superman from Planet Earth, layoff Santa Claus, and drown the Easter Bunny. As the Arctic and Antarctic ice melts, penguins will swim over to other shores, eskimos will make boats and polar bears will join their southern cousins. But as polar ice melts, Superman's refuge in the North Pole will disappear, and Santa Claus' workshop will vanish. And as the water level rises, it will flood the underground "worm hole" where the Easter Bunny lives!!!

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Lex Luther will finally get rid of Superman, and grumpy Christians will get the all-so Christian non-capitalist Christmas and Easter they so eagerly pursue. This will also make Bill O'Reilly very happy but no one really gives a dam about that. But as a father of two, Mister President think of the tragic effect this will have on the imagination of the millions of children that every day fly with Superman and every Christmas and Easter play with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. They, Santa, Bunny and Superman, are iconic symbols of our culture and we have to defend their existence as much as we defend the existence of the penguins, polar bears and eskimos. Without polar ice, these heroes will die and with them, a part of us will fade into memory.

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Mister President, please save our planet. Please save our heroes.

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Sincerely

Meiguito.

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* Professor Shakana Manguitus